I had a dream last night about my encounter with an old man at the Metropolitan Museum of Art during the winter. This dream was more like a repeat of what actually happened. Even when it happened it felt surreal like a dream.
After a full day of walking around the huge museum. A museum which seemed to be full of young fashionable couples. I didn’t mind. I never do, but it was noticeable. I was entering a room that had a fireplace and portraits on the wall. As I was walking through, an old man stopped me. He asked me if I was Irish and German. I replied yes. He then told me I reminded him of a nurse that he met during WWII and even remembered her name. I liked that he could tell my heritage.
He then asked me about how I felt about the paintings on the wall. The closest one was jesus being crucified. But he didn’t let me answer. Then my mom approaches us wondering what we’re talking about. He then quickly mentions that he’s a philosophy professor at Rutgers University. And goes on to tell us about what he’s done and such. Whenever my mom would ask him a question, he would briefly answer, but then intensely direct his attention back to me. Like he needed to tell me something.
He began to list his top 10 favorite philosophical quotes. What was amazing was this took about ten minutes or longer because he memorized the whole quote. Even the date and expanded on the meaning of each because some were in a foreign language. Some talked about grace, wisdom, peace. The good stuff. One of the quotes was a Celtic proverb, which I can’t remember, but it was about love. At this point the only thing I’ve contributed to this conversation is an occasional head nod, but I don’t mind. It’s fascinating everything he says. I think it’s the only time I could tell when someones is speaking complete truths and making known when they’re asserting their own opinion.
What he said about love was that it’s painful. Yes. But a life hiding from that pain, is worse than the pain itself. I don’t remember his exact words. I wish I did it would sound a lot better…but a wise and brillant man, in his late 80s, telling me that love is worth fighting for. You should never me ashamed with your gut feeling. The flaws of intuition don’t apply with love. Someone’s love is a companion.
At this point he’s staring me down,but I don’t feel uncomfortable. All I’m doing and feeling is panic. My eyes sting so badly from trying to withhold my tears. I think of him. Someone I daily try to put in that place in my mind where my emotions have been brainwashed to think they’re feeling untrue and to defensively dismiss it. I panic because I can’t stand being away from him. My best friend. I question what am i doing? Why am I away from him? It’s him.
It’s almost like the time when I almost got hit by a car running. You know you’re life is suppose to flash before your eyes. Well only Colin flashed before my eyes. And flooding after thoughts of sadness thinking I’ll never be able to tell him I love him again.
I’ve never had any spiritual epiphanies before. You hear people on TV always saying.. “Blah Blah that changed my life” .. like when you have a baby or a death in the family. But this encounter with this old man changed my life. Thank you old man. I’m with my love now.
Goodnight
